she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
