he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
