i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
