There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
