They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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