the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
