You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
