I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
