My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
