i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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