ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
