My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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