The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
