There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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