Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
