i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize