there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
