I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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