So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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