So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
