You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
