It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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