Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
