that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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