Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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