sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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