He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
