i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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