i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
