Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
