glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You can't motorboat a personality
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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