He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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