She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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