i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
