What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
