I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Pooping to opera.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
