OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
