he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
wow bdsm is so cute
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
