you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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