so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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