Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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