She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
