then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize