so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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