dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
