what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
