Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
