I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Randomize
