had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
