you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
