did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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