toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Acid is not a monday night drug
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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