Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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