It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
