hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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