last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
