Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
pray to the hookup gods
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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