I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
