dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
