He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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