I love black thongs
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
