okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is the high leading the old right now
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
