so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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