I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
