I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
